  Many people tell us they really like our Cthulhu idols but they just cost too darned much. And they tell us the U.S economy could use a boost these days. Now, the HPLHS, in conjunction with the Federal Government of the United States, is please to offer you a free* Alert or Legrasse idol. Heck, throw in a DVD, a mug and a pair of ElderWear too. You'll make yourself happy, you'll support your preferred purveyor of Lovecraftiana and you'll be doing your duty as a citizen of the U.S.A.
The very clever people in Washington have formulated a plan to revive the U.S. economy. They give us some money and urge us to spend it right away. Don't pay off your Visa bill, don't invest it wisely. No! They want you to squander it immediately by buying things. It's disposable income. For their bizarre plan to work, you must dispose of this income that they're giving you. That's where we come in. You'll probably be getting around $600. So, you can buy one of our idols, and a couple of other goodies and you'll still have a pile of cash left over. Take that money and treat someone important in your life to a nice night out on the town (and leave a good tip). That way they'll think you're great, they wont bag on you for blowing your check on more Cthulhu stuff, and you will have done your duty as a responsible member of the US economy. The great economic engine of the USA will roar back to life thanks to you. |
We promise we will not take the money we get from you and pay our bills, invest it, or do anything prudent with it. Oh no, we will take these monies and turn around and dump them into The Whisperer in Darkness. We have to spend money on actors and costumes and sets and mi-go... so, in the end, it will be your money that will be reviving the US economy and funding the creation of a much-aniticipated Lovecraft film. That makes you a hero.
OK, the free money from the U.S. government only works for U.S. citizens eligible for the Stimulus Package payments. But if you're outside the USA, you must have noticed by now that the dollar is at an historic low against nearly all major world currencies. So, particularly our friends in the EU and U.K., if you buy our stuff right now, it will cost you less than it ever has and likely ever will. But these great savings won't last forever. The Bush administration will end, the dollar will make a comeback.
*OK, it's "free" if you consider the stimulus checks being issued by the Fed free. We do. Really, it sort of is free money. I mean sure, it was yours and my money to start with, but they took it away from us in taxes and now they're giving it back, imploring us to spend it. It's the closest thing to free money you'll be getting out of the U.S. government any time soon. So go ahead, let Uncle Sam buy you something really cool for a change. Heck, you might even have enough left for a tank of gas. |
|
