Josh "Ready for my Closeup" Thoemke

ElderWear - Men's Briefs

The fabled symbol of magical protection from occult forces, John Dee's Elder Sign is boldly emblazoned where it can really make a difference. Keep things out; keep things in - it's up to you. But you're sure to make an impression when your skivvies make a statement like this. Things might have turned out so differently for poor Wilbur Whateley if he'd had a pair!

Click here to enlarge. Good god, people, we mean the artwork!

Click here for more information about where this Elder Sign came from. All ElderWear products come with a five page facsimile reproduction of the section of John Dee's Necronomicon which discusses the Omen Antiquitatum - the Elder Sign.

Artwork is John Dee's Omen Antiquitatum silk screened by our own specially trained shoggoths. Briefs are 100% cotton, black with white stitching and waistband, made by American Apparel, right here in sweat-shop free conditions in sunny Los Angeles. Not sure what size you need? Click here for sizing.

Please note: we are discontinuing the ElderWear line and the sizes below are the only ones we have.



Jim, a real HPLHS customer says, "Outlandish! Outrageous... snug! "

Not your style? We have women's ElderWear panties and the ElderThong too! Want to hedge your bets with a real copper version of the Omen Antiquitatum? Get the HPLHS Occultist Edition or Collector's Edition now.

Warrantee, Occult Indemnification and Fine Print
In donning ElderWear, Wearer acknowledges that the Elder Sign is a potent magical symbol which manipulates cosmic forces completely beyond the understanding of mankind. Further, Wearer acknowledges that the Elder Sign is intended to be carefully consecrated and used in accordance with rules written by a mad Arab nearly 1400 years ago.Wearer of ElderWear understands that there is no Warranteee (implied or otherwise) that ElderWear will necessarily provide guaranteed protection against: supernatural infestation, demonic possession, ectoplasm, enchantments and/or ensorcelments, crabs, any kind of STD, or disappointing partners in relationships. Wearer of ElderWear agrees to hold HPLHS, Inc., it's subsidiaries and officers free and blameless from any and all damages arising from occult and/or supernatural phenomena.